On August 8th, 2014 I had the honor of being asked by two close friends of mine, Brad and Bronwyn Martin, to officiate their wedding. It was so much fun. The first thing I did was get on YouTube and watched all kinds of ceremonies, religious and non-religious. Not only to get a feel for what the officiant does, but the entirety of the ceremony.
I was asked to do a 10-15 minute ceremony; spiritual but non-denominational; with a theme of family and community. I never in my life envisioned doing such a thing, but when the phone rings: you answer! This is the invocation I wrote for their ceremony:
With the families and friends of Bronwyn and Brad’s gathered here today – we are reminded that marriage is not just a union of two people.
Marriage is a unification and blending of circles; a merging of families; rings of tribes coalescing as one – symbolized by the wedding rings and vows that will be exchanged here today.
As you all know, this love thing is very big – its boundless – it has the ability and capacity to grow continuously, every day in ways large and small. That is so powerful. If you love one another, and love the world, love will find a way. From you. And to you.
Love fills in the gaps and provides the glue when the stresses and realities of life want to pull us apart. Marriage is the ultimate balancing act. Accountability and Forgiveness. Be firm in love – but let go of attachments . Well, except to your mate, of course — the ultimate attachment!
Your actions and reactions are no longer yours alone – they affect your mate; your child; your family and by extension, your community. When all your actions matter, every moment matters. And everyone matters. Life is enriched by being aware and conscious. You find yourself in a state of gratitude, because even when times are hard, your have love. And love will get you through.
Growing your love is growing your consciousness. You develop empathy and want to be supportive. You give and receive. You are no longer singular as individuals – you are singular in unison. You become more aware of the other one’s needs – more conscious. To be there when your lover needs you. To have patience and forethought. To practice honesty and acceptance. To see each other through life’s challenges and changes, and to share and celebrate the gifts and rewards of Love. Marriage. Family. Shared dreams. Creating a home. Nurturing. Support. Co-creation.
Marriage is not just about what “I” want. Realize, that your partner, your mate – has given themselves unto to you fully – all of their trust and faith and sense of security. Unconditional Love. Your mate has just voted you most awesome person in his and her life. Your mate is offering you — and only you — the most they have to offer. This is – most awesome.
Marriage is a serious contract. We all know it takes more than just love to sustain a relationship. It takes Cooperation. Patience. Accountability and Perseverence to ride out all the obstacles that life throws at us: Every opportunity brings its challenges. Every challenge brings opportunities. To grow in love. To test love. To strengthen love. And today, we strengthen those bonds by uniting the rings, to bind man and woman together as husband and wife.
